What the hell is this about?
quote:I Met Paul Newman Yesterday! It Was So Weird! - 33 (Upper East Side)
I was in Connecticut at this supermarket and who do I see? Paul Newman! I was so thrilled to see him that I went to the salad dressing aisle and picked up a bottle of his dressing. I politely approached him - his blue eyes are even more dazzling in person - and asked if he would autograph my dressing. He looked at me coldly, took the bottle of dressing, opened it, and drank the whole thing in like ten seconds. He then wiped his mouth on his sweater sleeve and said, "Let's see Redford do that."
Just then, Joanne Woodward came over to him with a package of pork chops. "Honey, what do you think of these chops?" He said, "Screw those chops. I want your chops!" He then grabbed Joanne and began kissing her violently. "Paul, you smell from vinaigrette," she protested.
I asked Mr. Newman if he was feeling okay and he said, "Kid, I just drank a whole bottle of salad dressing. I feel fan-[expletive]-tastic!"
I asked if I could have an autograph and he said he stopped giving autographs after a guy peed on him in a men's room. I told him I really admired his work and would love just one autograph. He then unzipped his trousers and proceeded to urinate on me. I put my soiled pants on eBay - the current high bid is $6,500. Imagined if he did #2? I'd be rolling in it.