Thanks so much Daddy, my true Daddy! Let me deflate my ego now so I can fit in the dressing room to type the next installment...
VIENNA: The show in Vienna was fun and having invited the staff of the gym next to the hotel (what??? I'm just trying to be NICE!) it was a delight to have all these moosles lingering around the backstage after the show. Plus Lucas (of Bel Ami infamy) was there and I must say he has the most amazing eyes, so clear blue and soft. It was actually hard to look at him and not break into a sweat. Back on the bus and off to...
ISCHGL (Switzerland): Everyone was excited for this stop because we lucked out with a day off (again) before the show day. AND the show was to take place outside halfway up the mountain at 1pm. However, disappointment struck for me when I found out they have a dj that is contractually obligated to play before any of the concerts on the mouintain....whatever. But needless to say my wounds were soothed by the fact that we were booked to stay at a spa, which was cunt. Gorgeous sunny weather, outdoor hottub, steam/sauna rooms, nudity, what more could you ask for at a ski resort. Well the nudity was something I would have passed on as it was quite saggy (a la Messy Bonnie). Show day was fantastic. Bright sun blaring down on the mountain and 8,000 people in ski gear standing in the snow attemtping to dance in those clunky boots. Tons of crowned heads. Many jokes referring to the quality of "snow", talk of sex in the gondolas, and chlamydia jokes made it fun family entertainment. Although Jake hadn't anticipated how high up we were and so halfway through the show he was sucking on an oxygen tank. We joked about how great it would have been to switch it with a tank of poppers but I had left my industrial-sized one at home. 3:00pm-DONE. Off to our pool party at the hotel and what I thought would be a quiet night until I made the acquaintance of a charming Austrian who made sure I made it back to my room safely (from the lobby bar). Ooops, missed my wakeup call and had to pack in 5 minutes flat with the tour manager screaming down the phone "GET YOUR FAGGOTY ASS DOWN HERE YOU LAZY GIT!" He loves me. Goodbye Ischgl and my Austrian, somewhat racist, lover.
MUNICH: Having had zero sleep I decided it was best to spend the 4 hour bus ride to Munich looking out the window listening to 70's AM radio rock. I think it was actually more helpful than if I had slept. The venue in Munich was, to put it mildly, unglamorous. Basically a wharehouse that had what looked like train tracks that once ran right into it...eek. But the german crowd turned it out despite the language barrier seeming to get the witty banter in between songs. They certainly were the craziest crowd at the final encore "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'". More to come as we head deeper into Germany...
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