Craigslist !!!

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I Met Paul Newman Yesterday! It Was So Weird! - 33 (Upper East Side)

I was in Connecticut at this supermarket and who do I see? Paul Newman! I was so thrilled to see him that I went to the salad dressing aisle and picked up a bottle of his dressing. I politely approached him - his blue eyes are even more dazzling in person - and asked if he would autograph my dressing. He looked at me coldly, took the bottle of dressing, opened it, and drank the whole thing in like ten seconds. He then wiped his mouth on his sweater sleeve and said, "Let's see Redford do that."

Just then, Joanne Woodward came over to him with a package of pork chops. "Honey, what do you think of these chops?" He said, "Screw those chops. I want your chops!" He then grabbed Joanne and began kissing her violently. "Paul, you smell from vinaigrette," she protested.

I asked Mr. Newman if he was feeling okay and he said, "Kid, I just drank a whole bottle of salad dressing. I feel fan-[expletive]-tastic!"

I asked if I could have an autograph and he said he stopped giving autographs after a guy peed on him in a men's room. I told him I really admired his work and would love just one autograph. He then unzipped his trousers and proceeded to urinate on me. I put my soiled pants on eBay - the current high bid is $6,500. Imagined if he did #2? I'd be rolling in it.

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PUSSY EXAM
We are looking for white men who need their man pussy examined. All men should have this exam on a regular basis. You just lie back while we put on our rubber gloves and give you a probing pelvic examination. We can use speculums or dildos if you wish. Just let us open, probe and examine your cunt. If this is something you have fantasized about having done, now is the time to fulfill it. Email for an appointment. NO pics available.

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Easy money for a Cute female CHESS player

I get turned on by smart girls.

I'm also a beginning chess player trying to get better.

Come play chess with me, while in the nude. If you beat me, I'll give you $250. If not, well at least we both got in a good game and I got some eye candy. Maybe we can play multiple times. I play white.

Me: attractive, laid-back, professional i-banker, 30s. Very discreet - you should be too.

Yes, this is a real ad! (please send a pic, tell me your age and experience level)

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My Wife Looks Like Nathan Lane - We Seek a Matthew Broderick Lookalike - 41 (Murray Hill)

My wife Cherry and I are want to spice up our marriage. My wife has often been told that she bears an uncanny resemblence to Nathan Lane. Once, we were coming out of the theater after seeing a play, and several people requested her autograph, saying, "Oh, Mr. Lane, we loved you in 'The Producers.'"

We would like to find a Matthew Broderick lookalike and do some kinky role play. We live in the Murray Hill Towers and would like to host you. When you walk in, "Springtime for Hitler" will be playing. We will then go to the living room and eat cheese and talk about Chevy Chase's failed career.

We will then go to the master bedroom and you and my wife will read a scene from "The Odd Couple" while I masturbate using a large wooden avocado.

Please send pic, stats, and location. Serious only - non-smokers need not apply. We are tolerant of Jews.

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likes non-passable transvestites