Please Dont Die My Darling

Please don't die my darling
I can't bear it
I need you here above ground
I'm not ready for the astral
on a permanent basis
even if I don't see you
I need to know you're around
I need to know your number's
still listed
I need to know your head
still lays
on a pillow
not on the floor
your face purpling
an exhausted flower
disintegrating backwards
to the earth
I need to know your birthmark
is still dancing
if not around me
at least for something
I need to know your belly
still knocks with hunger
I will feed you
if need be
I need to know you are across town
then I will sleep.

Please don't die my darling
I can't help you
if you're gone
I will tongue antidepressants
and coffee
to your strange lips
oil your scurvy tresses
paint your lame toes
what will I do
if you don't walk amongst us?
I need a giant
not a lawn goblin
they are everywhere
I will make a grocery list
of all the things you need:
a cup of tea
a doorframe large enough for your big head
tell me a story
rub my stomach
sing to me
give me a bath
please dont leave
cuddle me
fight with me
tell me you love me
please be my friend
I will listen carefully
and go to the market
what I do not have
what I cannot afford
I will steal
then I will sleep.

Please don't die my darling
I will be so mad
I will never speak to you again
not even when I'm alone
not even when no one's looking
not even in prayer
I will close up shop
& end this transmission
I won't light candles for you
say anything about you
I will pretend
you never existed
you will be banished
to the land of
nothing
and then I will sleep.

Please don't die my darling
I can't stand it
I will jump in a river
scream underwater
fling curses at your
conspirators
fire my jewelry at the heavens
your family
& all that you leave behind
I will burn your apartment
I will bottle your soul
and nag you for an eternity
then I will sleep.
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