This topic is really buzzing tonight. Way cool.
I was a closeted CD for some years and I had to recently admit to myself that I wasn't a straight male either. Since expressing myself in a more constructive way I have found that I love it and am considering a 24/7 lifestyle. It is so very hard to explain why, but it just seems to feel right. Although I have had lots of encouragement it was also helpful to hear in a TG support group that I attend that "it's ok to step back". I know that once I decide to do it I will - even at the loss of my day job. What concerns me the most is the effect it can have on the people who love and depend on me.
I have a daughter and she, being a bright young teenager, has noticed some slight changes in my appearance and it has invoked a strong emotional response from her (even over such trivial things as hair and nails). I recently shared with a friend my self expression and she freaked. I really didn't expect that! Having lost dear friends before I know I can bear it, even when it is very painful, but I could not bear the loss of my daughter. If that happened I would also feel that I let her down. These are important years for her and (I hope) she needs my support. It's a tough call as I don't want a dual life either (way too much to manage). I have a lot of respect for those who are or have transitioned as it takes a lot of courage and the possible loss of your family and friends. Thankfully as Stacy has pointed out there are more role models now (my favorite: www.lynnconway.com) support groups and forums like this to share experiences while on this incredible journey.
[This message was edited by April on 06-05-02 at 12:43 AM.]
[This message was edited by April on 06-05-02 at 01:05 AM.]