I must agree that trans-discrimination has been phenomenally irrational and intense, but I have seen wonderful changes for the better. I have experienced just about evey kind of abuse over the years. It's important to keep ones center and not take any o f that harshness inside of oneself, but to recognize it for what it is and let it go. Yes, it has often seemed that too many people believe that a Transperson is nothing but something to point at, laugh and gawk. Many young men and some not so young men seem to think they have to yell from their passing cars, or from anywhere, things like "YOU GOT A DICK!!!! FUCKIN'FAGOT!!!" Wow! what a realization. What a point to ponder. Is that a crime? Does that mean that they don't have one? Once some guy said that as I walked past him and his friends on my way home from work at A DIfferent Light Bookstore, and then I saw a cop standing there. Taking the liberty of his stand-by protection and assumed deterrance I turned and said to the guys friends "He knows t hat to be a fact, because he sucked it last night." What the hell is that supposed to mean anyway? "You've got a dick." Duh! Something that is being assumd in that statement is missed on me. How do they know I haven't had SRS? What difference does i t mean anyway. IT's so ridiculous it's laughable, but behind that statement is a threat of violence born out of fear, not of me or any Transperson, but of themelves and their own feelings. It has to be treated that way. It can't be taken personally. T aking it personally brings harshness into oneself and can feed the fires of the violent vicious cycle that is perpetuated on and on and on. Meditation helps me to to this, as well some other methods.
I really appreciate the sentiment Colleen, about what you said about seeing a TS on a train. That kind of thing is quite beautiful. There was a point in my life when I realized I was living very much with blinders on, shutting out sights and sounds. Then I realized that I was also shutting out the lovely gestures being made. I now ask the Triple Goddess and the Moonstone I put on each morning to help me remain open and receptive, and serene. I find that I encounter more of the best in people every day now. The other kind of horror is an exception, and it's perhaps always just a matter of time before encountering it from time to time, because there are extremely sick and unbalanced, uncentered people running around. But they are an exception. When they are encountered, I believe it is vital to not defer to their sickness, however violent it may be expressed. They need to see that it is all about themselves, and nothing about the transperson that they are threatening and/or abusing.
Yes, Owning ones sexuality is basic. I believe it all starts from there. One needs to know what they like, and empower themselves to that joy within and without. One needs to love oneself, trust oneself, and own oneself. No one should be allowed to touch us, without our permission, and we need to make that stick. Own ing ones sexuality goes against the grain of the patriarchal system that has born so many disconnected males on the streets whose main concern seems to be what the other guys think about their masculinity. I used to often get transharrassment from some g uy in a group of guys, only to have that same guy approach me when the others weren't in sight, coming onto me, and then the transharrassment had transformed into plain old sexual harrassment.
Now he would be telling me "I got a big dick." It's insane, but it's getting better. I believe we have to help it get better, not by fighting back, but by nurturing ourselves and others with our own bliss and joy for being here on this Earth. I think that this is the best way to share ourselves with the world, so that they not only learn to accept us, but love us as one might love any person.
There's really a lot to say about both of these topics.
[This message was edited by Stacy Amber on 06-23-02 at 10:47 PM.]Ë‡
[This message was edited by Stacy Amber on 06-23-02 at 10:58 PM.]