Like Kelly, I too have been returning to this message board. With all the apathy in this world it's comforting to know that people can still band togeather and say "YES...THIS PERSON WAS HERE. HE WAS LOVED. HE WILL BE MISSED"
Even though Dean wasn't someone I spoke with on a daily basis, he and I bonded pretty heavily over the whole escorting thing. I just quit escorting in January after years of working, and Dean and I had some serious yet hysterical phone conversations about it.
And so it really breaks my heart. I wish he'd had a chance to get out of that life too. It makes me ask God (once again) why shit like this has to happen to such great people. And of course it makes me realize how much I fucked with my own safety over the years; going off to cities to hook up with strangers I knew nothing about, letting them drive me god knows where.
Every minute of that life puts the people working it at risk. Yet even with all the horror stories floating around, when you're immersed in that life you tell yourself "nothing like that will ever happen to ME". And then...when bad stuff DOES happen (and it does) it's STILL such a hard lifestyle to leave. At least for me it was. I had to physically remove myself from New York City to quit.
And so... even though Dean wasn't one of my "best friends", or someone I talked to on a regular basis, I considered him...scratch that...I WILL ALWAYS CONSIDER HIM... a kindred spirit and friend. He was a fellow singer and a fellow escort. He was open about who he was, and he made no apologies for it. He lived a life that many judgemental idiots would frown down upon, but he still went on living it with guts, gumption and laughter. The loss of that laughter will weigh heavily on the night.
Dean Dean Dean....I wish I could be in New York for your memorial service at Rapture. Thank you for the great talks. You will be missed...and from the looks of this message board...you will never ever be forgotten. Hugs to everyone who's written stuff here...except the idiot who made that "how commen" remark. What was THAT all about?