DEAN YR A WITCH!
We all knew this, but it became progressively a bigger part of his life , and this last year he was officially "wiccan". It started out years ago, we used to have these very punk rock, organic , unstructured improvised pagan rituals on the beach, all the time. I remember one time in p-town, he was getting oh so much playtime in those dunes, and i'd read, tan, and swim with the guys (tony dale martin ricky) while he took sex breaks- our intention that day for ritual was about money, prosperity. We all imagined the perfect money/career situation for each other over our seashell mandala circle. After we danced around the circle naked , singing Rhiannon (dean's idea) to seal the deal, Dean went out into the dunes, and about half an hour later came running back, so excited , telling all of us that we really did have magic powers. He had ended up meeting a music lawyer in the sex dunes , that agreed to rep him! Dean was hooked! We were giddy! It was proof. I believed it too, and kept watch for a chunk of money or good fortune to fall on me. I cant remember , it was years ago, but I'm sure it came. Thanks Dean!
The last time we had ritual was last summer on Fire Island. Dean had really gotten into the official Wicca , and bought a pretty wand with him, and I think a chalice? I cant remember exactly , but this time he led the ritual, and he was proud to show us the official witch stuff he had been studying. He told me that he had finally found a sprituality that worked for him, that made sense to him. I knew he was a witch all along, he didnt have to tell me that. Dean was transcendant throught the flesh. He celebrated everyone's sexuality, their life and creative force, I loved that about him. And when he wasnt fucking and sucking, he was surrounded by women so often, his band, his pals, his fam, even his spirituality was goddess based. Dean was a real feminist, and a uniter.
This last ritual we had was so startling emotional and important. We were naked, and looking up at the moon together, holding hands, imagining the moon as mirror bouncing the light from our hearts to the whole world. All of a sudden - a shooting star! A krazzzzy shooting star! Just for us! I think we all screamed, it was shocking , like someone out there talked back to us. We all made a wish.
When Alice told me that the only thing he had on him at the end was his pentagram, it made sense to me and made me happy. Oh Dean! If there was ever anyone that could communicate from beyond it would be you. So every weird thing that happens w music or whatever, I'm taking as a sign ,and I have felt comforted by these signs, I guess because I choose to be.
I still think yr behind alll those headlines. Har! I love you!