The Daily News March 28, 2005/ Dear Harriette:
(Found this a couple days ago..What do you think of the situation and the response ?)
Dear Harriette,
I am a male who lives as a female. Recently, a close friend of mine, Christina, asked if I would participate in her wedding as a bridesmaid. I'm thrilled and honoured but also a bit concerned Although almost everyone in our circle of friends knows my status, I'm a bit worried how her friends and family, who don't know me, will react. She mentioned to her mother that she would like me as a bridesmaid, and her mother expressed some tripadation and concern for the families of the bride and groom, some of whom will be bringing children. I have only recently started living as a woman, and feel that I'm quite passable, but I would rather avoid any trouble. Christina insists that she wants me there as a bridesmaid. What should I do?
Signed,
Michelle of NYC.
From Harriette Cole / The Daily News
Dear Michelle,
As welcoming and inclusive as Christina is being with you she doesn't seem to be thinking fully about the big picture. Yes, some family members and friends probaly will be uncomfortable about your role. More important though, by putting you " on display" she may be drawing more attention to you than you feel comfortable having on her wedding day. You should not become the center of attention by default. Rather than simply being able to support your friend on her day of great joy you may find yourself having to defend yourself before people who are judgemental about your role. Trust your instincts. Thank Christina for the invitation and ask her if you can serve in a less visable role during the wedding where you don't have to be front and center.
Signed,
Harriette Cole
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