Seven, I always like what you write, OK, I am not always able to understand what you say, but when I do understand what I'm reading then it is some very good writing.
I don't know if what I am going to say will make any sense but I'll try.
For some people like myself, loneliness is a harsh condition to be in. Even when I went to clubs like Pyramid and Area, I was sort of living in a vacuum of loneliness surrounded by crowds of people. And being a t-girl the loneliness can be amplified because quite a few "straights" want no part of a t-girl, you know, people on the street, stores, just everyday people, at times they treat me as a disease. Also there might be other mental reasons that I am the way am that I am in no control of. Maybe I am also to blame for putting myself into this solitude.
As I am getting older I felt that I needed something to break this cycle, so a friend got me a computer which took me 6 months to figure out how to work it. I got the computer to help me break out of a depressed state that I was in, sort of a therapy thing. I also felt that I needed to belong somewhere before I disappeared completely from everyone's eyesight. I needed human contact, I mean humans like myself and not the idiots that live in my area, and not the people I have to meet for work. I needed contact with people like myself, even if it would be through the colorful plastic box in front of me.
So I went to forums such as Myspace to try and find what was missing in my life. I was grasping for anything I could reach out to. I wanted to belong to something, I really didn't know what I was looking for but I thought myspace could have something of interest.. But as you say seven, it is kinda like a concentration camp, I get really nothing out of it, but I can't resist going there. It's like I am forced to go there, like going to a miserable job, I don't want to go, but I have to, this is the feeling I get from Myspace. OK, posting pics and having guys ask me out is kinda fun, but it's not real, I will never meet any of these guys. Especially the guys from Iran or Mongolia.
Seven, this statement says it:
-it is a technology that itself tries to provide a repair to the effects of being severed from eachother that are imparted to humanity by technology itself.
I feel that I went to myspace and other forums in order to repair the effects of loneliness, maybe not because of technology itself, but then again, it could be because of technology, it's just that I don't understand these things to know any better.
Maybe I shouldn't use the plastic glowing box to try and solve my problems.
Thanks Seven for your well written post.