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Reply to "Puritan Watch"

Dr LAURA ... what a puritan...
This was e-mailed to me, thought it was cute..
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality,
> who dispenses advice to people who call in to her Radio show. On her
> radio show recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew,
> homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22, and
> cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an
> open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted
> on the Internet.
>
> ******************************************
>
> Dear Dr. Laura:
>
> Thank you for doing so much to educate
> people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show,
> and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When
> someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
> remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination
> .. End of debate.
>
> I do need some advice from you, however,
> regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
>
> 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male
> and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
> friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
> Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
>
> 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
> in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
> price for her?
>
> 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
> in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem
> is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
>
> 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
> creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my
> neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite
> them?
>
> 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
> Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally
> obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
>
> 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
> abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
> homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
> Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
>
> 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if
> I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
> glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room
> here? (also note the excellent parody site: http://www.godhatesshrimp.com)
>
> 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
> hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
> Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
>
> 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
> makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
>
> 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
> different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments
> made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
> also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that
> we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone
> them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private
> family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?
> (Lev. 20:14)
>
> I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
> considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.
> Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
>
> Your adoring fan
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