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Thanks Joshua. It's all too true. And thanks AN!

Well, this morning at the ungodly hour of 7am I headed off to the CPH airport. Dinner last night was incredible and surprisingly FREE! My 2 gigs were fun and booze-filled and then I stayed up all night chatting with a friend just catching up. Feel like garbage today now that I have made it to....

HASSELT: which is in Belgium about 1.5 hours outside Brussels. It takes some dirty tricks but I get the crowd a little riled up but it's really Ana Matronic who whips them into a frenzy before Tits On the Radio. The audience is a bit quiet for a Saturday night but she inspires some mania and Jake eloquently states "Jesus this is a party not Barbra Streisand's funeral!"
Just catching up here...
I read your post about how you sucked in STOCKHOLM/OSLO.
Didn't you play those CDS I gave you?!!!!
Do I have to come over there and play them myself?

You have insulted me for the last time.
You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time.

Sorry Pickles...
Just feeling a little Alec Baldwin today.

I'm sure you were fine.
Sometimes "the crowd" just has an off night.

I'm going to go listen to your set now on "Mr. Black".
Actually, I have to record a show for XM Radio...
maybe I can use yours.
CPH (cont'd): So went to dinner with friends at my fave place and got turned out. We gorged ourselves on food and drink, including this very expensive champagne that frozen then uncorked to remove any sediment then recorked and kept cold for 15 years. Unreal. And the diunner was free cause my friend was celebrating her birthday and her man wanted to pay for everything. What a grift! My 2 gigs went great and I spent the night catching up wioth a girlfriend who made sure I didn't go to bed and pack instead so that I would definitely catch my 8am flight to Brussels. Poor Del though, he had to see the tragedy that was me that morning. But an uneventful flight and train ride brought us to our destination....

HASSELT (Belgium): Let me just say this was my layover to Amsterdam cause frankly due to my fragile state I do not recall anything about this place. It was one of those stops on the tour where all I saw was the tourbus and the venu. And the crowd was real low key. This was quite surprising since it was a Saturday night. Oh well. NEXT!

AMSTERDAM: God I love this town. And I'm not a big pot smoker- thoguh I do enjoy a muffin or brownie from time to time. I just think it's one of those fab walking cities with the canals and the low architecture. And the weather was gorgeous so EVERYBODY was outside at the cafes. I spent the day walking around shopping and soaking up the tres relaxed energy. I ended up meeting some UK friends who came over for the show at a lovely bar called the Queen's Head which looks right onto the canal. Here are some pics....
After the show in Amsterdam, which went really well though playing in a very large venue had everyone a bit nervous- they tend to be less interesting crowds. We all pile onto the bus for a rough 9 hour ride to....

PARIS: I have been feeling quite homesick but our pulling into Paris immediately wipes that away. I know this sounds extremely posh and pompous but having lived here as a student, it somehow feels like a home to me and I have no problem getting lost in its streets. First things first I beeline to Rue des Francs Bourgeois in the Marais (my fave district) to stroll past delicious falafel stands and great little boutiques and the Picasso Museum to which I have been to enough times that I feel no guilt not stopping in this trip. I know there are some who think the Left Bank is where it's at but I myself have always been and will be a right bank girl. I will always want to walk from the Bastille to Pompidou to Opera etc.. whenever I come here. Again we are blessed with unseasonably warm weather. That night we are playing at the Olympia which apparently has not been outside all day so don't know that they should turn on the A/C. It is absolutely BOILING during the concert. Having never played at a Paris show with SS I had no idea what to expect from the crowd. They were really great except for this one bear in the front who seemed so bother by the slimness on stage. He would not even look at me or the opening band (this guy Snax who makes me look like "the fat one"). It was hilarious. But of course when the band came on, and he obviouls was positioned right in front of Babydaddy, he screamed like a girl. Oh the bears...
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After the show in we have to get right on the bus because it's a 14 hour drive to...

BARCELONA: Another fave city of mine the only unfortunate thing is that we are here on a Monday and Tuesday nights and for going out it sucks. But c'est la vie, right. The hotel we are booked into is clearly a 5 star place and it's located by the beach. It is absolutely beautiful and I get to spend my day off relaxing poolside and repairing some damage done by tourbus boozing. Monday night I make a dayte to go out with the head of catering, named Beevah, a fierce dyke who is an incredible chef who does all the SS tours. After an attempt to try and find an open dyke bar, we settle into a neon lit fag bar for endless vodkas. We end up at the only place to go on a Monday night, the Metro which is not even half full. Strangely enough I run into a guy I haven't seen in 6 or 7 years which is nice. Despite poisoning myself with vodka I manage to check out of the hotel in time but stay poolside for the afternoon. I don't even bother to site the city since I am coming back here in 2 weeks with a friend and will have to show her everything for her first time. PS I find the men here particularly stunning. It's a bit uphill for the women but sheesh the men are killers. Unfortunately due to my dimness I have left my phone on the bus and have no daytime Barcelona pictures. Oops...sorry. That night the show is fucking brilliant. The crowd, while slow at filing into the venue go bizark during my second set. I'm high as a kite just from the energy they are feeding me. I leave the stage to a roaoring cheer which is not so common on tour and is the biggest aphrodisiac.
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After the show a few of us head out to a bar to soak up the last bit of Barcelona we can before we have to head on to....

MADRID: Now, it's difficult for me to give a fair account of Madrid because we awake to a very disgruntled crew who arrived to find that the load-in area has been removed due to extreme road construction and so all the equipment has to come through a hobbit hole down a narrow stair case. Catering can't even load in so they are frantic to try and find food to feed the 50 people that rely on them for nourishment to do their jobs. There is no internet in the building. The weather is cold and wet. And the area around the club (including the club) are reminiscent of Beirut, and not from the 50's. However, any malaise is easily wiped away once the lights go out and Madrid prove to us that Spanish people enjoy nothing more than dancing their asses off and getting fucked up. I have an awesome time and get to ambush them with "I Feel Love" when their not expecting it and it has beyond the desired effect. The room goes absolutely basllistic by the time the band takes the stage. Afterwards we file onto the bus for our very last bus ride.

LISBON: Last stop on the tour. Arriving in the morning we all bid farewell to our trusty driver Carl who takes meticulous care of us all. It is the cliché, we are a family. It is a sunny day in Lisbon and as soon as I settle into the hotel, conveniently located in the heart of town, I break out with my iPod for a nice long wander through town. Up and down serpentine streets and across huge squares I am immediately enamored of this city. By 4pm I know I have to head back to the hotel so that I can do my immense catch up job with you readers. It is the last night of the tour and everyone is in good spirits. Everyone seems real excited to be going home. The tour has gone extremely well but any moments with friends and family in NYC trumps any end-of-tour blues. Mind you, these guys have been on the road for the last 12 months with 3 more to go. I am a little sad that it's over probably because the last week has been so fierce. But still I think how happy I am that it is only 2 more weeks till get to go home. In no way am I complaining about what I get to experience and the opportunities presented to me, but I have not spent more than 8 days in my apt. in NYC since September. I just want to pet my cat and let her know that I still love her.
Damn Pickles!
You better watch your back when you get home.
There are a lot of VERY jealous DJs here!

Amsterdam: Great city! The last time we were there The Empress went out for "coffee" and was gone for three days. What is it about the "coffee" there Pickles?
Starbucks has a lot to learn from the Amsterdam Coffee Houses.

Barcelona: "The Metro"? Is that the place where you pee on a glass wall and everyone watches you from the other side?
(Or was that just me drunk peeing on some poor person's window)
And tell Jason to be careful on that scaffolding!

Paris: I agree... Right Bank. That's my girl.
As far as the big fat bears, I also have trouble with all you skinny little tooth pick bitches.
I can relate to Baby Daddy.
Well, now that I go to Bear Parties.

Madrid: Love it! The people are fab.

Lisbon: I've never been to Lisbon. I can't wait to grill you on her.

Tell Baby Daddy I know some hot new Bear parties when he gets back.

Baby Daddy


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Tell everyone exactly what it is you do.
What is the show like?
(I didn't know you did 2 sets)
How long is a set, what do you play? Do you change it up from city to city?
What kind of drugs do you take.
Your blog is becoming VERY popular but I don't think some people understand exactly what it is you are doing with The Scissor Sisters.
Pretend you are explaining it to your grandma.
Not to worry AN, I avoid bear bars at all cost unless I am on handholding duties with Babydaddy. Sadly though, no moroccan trip this time.

Ok, Daddy I'll explain. For those who don't quite know what it is I do do, I basically do a 1 hour dj set when the doors open, then there is an opening act for 30 mins, then I do about 40 mins more until the band are ready to come on stage. If I am a little elusive about discussing the band it's only because I don't want some idiot coming on here and taking stuff I say out of context and blasting it on their site. Yes it seems paranoid but the behavior I have witnessed already when it comes to being around SS would make anyone slightly paranoid. The whole fan/fame thing truly is bizarre when you see it happen to someone close to you. People who want to transfer adulation but also try and extract as much from you as they can. I'm not speaking of myself just what I see and perceive. Ok blah blah blah enough of that crap.
So anyway my job is to make sure the audience knows that it is a party and that they are expected to participate and not just stand and stare. Musically it's great for me because the fan base is so broad that all genres are appropriate. I've been playing pretty hard this trip which may have been problematic early on but once we headed south it turned them out. He he he

Now I am sitting in the Lisbon airport about to hop on a plane to Milan where I get to play at Club Billy (my first time) which is supposed to be some fierce big gay club that's been around since the T Rex. I am hungover as hell and the only thing saving me right now is being able to type this to you and the full Cure catalogue on my iPod. Now I think I have to head to my gate. Will be in touch soon...

"If only I was sure, that my head on the door was a dream...."
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So if it happened to me it could to you too

Let me interrupt here...

I know what Pickles is trying to say. That he has been surprised by his good fortune etc. but the truth is it's probably never going to happen to you. There are more so-called "DJs" today than ever.
Pickles is extremely talented and has been extremely lucky and works very hard but his life is the exception not the rule.
Go into DJing with your eyes open!
Unless you have a trust fund (and I know a lot of young DJs now do) this is a tough road.
i'm a picklehead!!
(kinda like a deadhead but for dj pickles.)
here's what i remember:

ghostbusters, r. parker, jr. ->
holiday, belzy ->
crazy right now, beyonce ->
screwed, p. hilton (dj a.m. remix) ->
club tropicana, wham! ->
vibeology, p. abdul ->
sexy back/toxic mashup ->
then a bunch more crap before...
is that all there is, p. lee

boy was i ready to party after that!!!!

honestly, i AM a picklehead.
i've learned SO MUCH from my sister.
and been DRIPPED in fierce music.
all the best gigs i've had... thanks to her.
i owe her ALOT!!
(i'll nurse you through your old age, hon.)

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