Beams To Bobby

This topic was moved from our Frequent Posters Forum Lucky Bitches on 12/6. As it had been already in progress, here are the posts from that topic:

My original post:

Always painful to get this topic going again - it means some important member of the boards, and often a dear friend, is going through hell.

This time, it is bobby. I have known about this for over a week, but was waiting for bobby to give the okay for more people to know. The reason he did not return from Provincetown for Halloween as planned, is that he became very ill and is currently in the hospital in Hyannis.

It is PCP pneumonia, and Basil (who just returned from there and gave me the okay to do this) said that he is hanging tough, though he has lost weight.

I am telling y'all here in hopes that your best wishes and prayers, beams, spells and incantations can go out to him. All of his extended family in New York is truly fortunate as he has a circle of really loving people there who are taking incredible care of him, and keep us regularly informed.

He is too ill to be online at the moment, but you may want to email him or leave a message here as I am sure he will come on when able.

[This message was edited by Chi Chi on 12-06-02 at 08:51 PM.]

I just got this bad news from Basil Sunday night when I ran into him at Star Tartare. During casual conversation, I had asked Basil if he'd heard from Bobby, not knowing or even suspecting that anything was wrong. Basil hesitated before answering, but I'm glad he told me. Those that love Bobby will want to know. I really felt terrible!

Bobby - when you read this, I hope you're feeling better, darling. We miss you. If there's anything I can do, PLEASE let me know.

Lots of love to you,
LEX

[This message was edited by Luxury Lex on 11-27-02 at 01:57 PM.]

Just noticed that bobby didn't give a public email addy here, so if you want to post messages here I will email him the topic when he is better.

you much love and be strong, love you much Helin

and send you wings and willow to speed your recovery

------------
thank you for your early words of encouragement. they were logged BTW in my computer as ultra important. and there is much space there for more. get well soon!

wishing you all the best-much love for a speedy recovery.new york needs you -you were missed at halloween!.
kitty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All my love, all my prayers go out to you, my dear. If you need anything, ANYTHING at all, I'm there. You are the creme de la creme.

peace and light.

mr.joe

Hello All..First off, let me thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. It is a boon to me to know that I have real family there who cares. After so many years in NYC 30, I have seen so many come and go and I think of them often, I only wish they knew.And now I know how much they suffered. They were the early saints.
I was diagnosed Oct 31 ( the anniversary of my mothers passing) with PCP pneumonia and Crypto Spiro Meningitis. Very nasty bugs, both and within a week I was hospitalized. I have dropped from 178 lbs to 140 and have "that look" that is so startling and scary. But the good news is that this is 2003, for surely if this were 1995 I would not be looking at a future, but now with the current medications there is much hope. It is a slow walk through the fire but I am willing.Plus I am in the greatest of hands here with a loving supportive husband and family.
I ask each of you to open your hearts more tonight before you go to bed and look for the very best part of yourself for you never know when you will be called upon to use it to survive. I will be fine , in time. I miss you all and think of you even if you don't know it. Thank you Chi Chi for your special kndness and understanding.Sweet Helen and Lex and Tonya and Kitty Thank you.And Mr. Joe thank you too, and Rose darling your voice sounded so concerned it made me cry.I love you dear, and all the rest of you that took the time to write or email. I haven't been online in 4 weeks. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Stay in love with life. Best xxxxxxx Bobby

PS>SPECIAL to Mother Sabrina Your words were like food to me darling.Thank you 1000 kisses xxxxxxx

Bobby, just found this topic.

Hope your feeling better. I'll be sending tons of love energy to you through the fiberoptics! kiss kiss kiss!

But being the fighter you've always been I'm sure you'll be back to your fierce ol'self in the blink of a false eyelash!

much love
Rob

You'll get through this as only a "fierce hairdresser" could!
-love, Daddy
(the other daddy)

Bobby, I just read all these posts, and I am sorry that you have to go through all that. I hope the nurses are taking good care of you- they better. Anyway, my thoughts are with you as you go through this, and please let this nurse know if you need anything...

dear bobby,

i'm so sorry to hear what you are going through, i know you will recover and be as healthy as ever.
all my love and prayers in you time of need.

a big kiss,
michael

Hey Bobby,

Get well, and get back here.

DD

Just talked to Pookie (Richard Move) who just talked to Bobby. He said Bobby sounded tired but much much better.

Our thoughts and love to you.

TnD

and thinking of Bobby.


TnD

Rob and I send our love, if there's anything we can do...

Sending love and light to you Bobby.
--Mrs. Potty

All the energy you've radiated for years is reflecting back at you, all at once, Bobby Miller. Drink it in, sweetheart, as you are loved...

Thoughts and prayers from London
Get better soon

you're an inspiration and you make this world a better place. I'm sending all my love and energy to you and trying not to cry while I do it. Looking forward to seeing you again very soon.

LEX

I heard from Basil earlier tonight. He asked that everyone "keep the mojo coming" as there was a slight improvement today and Bobby seemed to definately know that Basil was there.

get better bobby - you are very special to me - think HOT positive thoughts in there - Im surrounding you with warmth and good health - may your body find the strength to battle on!!

I look forward to more hairdressing, more Bobby - ok?

Bobby,

Hang in there and get well. We're not done with you.

xoxoxo

DD

Hi All,
Jamie here with some updated news about my momma, Bobby.
First I would like to give my appreciation and thanks to all who post here with good thoughts and prayers for Bobby, who is very much in need of them at this time.
As of this afternoon, t he breathing apparatus has been partially removed and Bobby is breathing more on his own. He is more conscious today than the previous few days. Friends who are with him told me he is a bit fiesty and aware enough to tell his friends who are near him that he loves them.
As for his condition, the next few days should bring some clear information about what is happening internally for him. I know my momma isn't fond of all those pesky tests, however I haven't heard her complain once - not thru any of this. Sure the usual bitching, but she is resolute about not letting discomfort and fear take over.

When I was at the hospital last month we sat together and talked about everything that is happening. Bobby is suffering but he is holding on to his faith and hope, and I know he is fighting.
He looked me in the eyes and said "I am in Gods hands, and I trust God completely."
So, as he has taught me, I am doing my best to trust and be strong for him. While I was with him I asked if he had a message for everyon e back here in New York, he gave a thoughtful look and said "Be thankful for all you have." So with that in mind, I just want to say how incredibly thankful I am to have a friend like Bobby. He is a man who shows me more love than I could ever hope for and challenges me in more ways than I could ever expect. I love you Bobby, now and forever...

Got the Mojo working 24/7 for you Mrs. Miller!

bobby you have been a big inspiration as the first gay poet i ever saw read live. Blessings and all good thoughts at this critical time.

Bobby,

So sorry I haven't posted earlier. I knew you weren't well, but hadn't seen this string of well wishers.

To say we miss you would be putting it mildly. Your spirit, vibe and creativity have influenced many.

So just beat this thing already, so we can make your 51st b-day bigger than the 50th!

Love
Colleen

Thanks for the update Jamie/Ginger. I have every confidence Bobby will pull through this. And we should all be grateful for what we have and strive to live our lives on our own terms, the way Bobby does.

Colleen -- Lately I too have been thinking about Bobby's great 50th birthday party and how close I came to not going that night. SOOOO glad I did. It was an incredible night with great people. Can't wait for the next one.

LEX

basil here
i just got back from hyannis
thank you chi chi for helping send so much love
i know it is helping.
bobby is much better today
he had an MRI and it seemed to rule out some worst case scenarios we were afraid of.
bobby is much more conscious but not totally
there is alot that is still a mystery to the doctors
keep the mojo love coming
i know he will connect to these boards somehow soon
love
love
love
love

basil

have not been going out much without me best mate, been thinking about our lives together over the last 25+ years, and have gone thru every emotion possible since halloween..........

went up to ptown for thanksgiving -- when bobby found this thread, after not having signed in for some time, it made his day, the mojo works........ saw the effect first hand. the motherboards are the best place to communicate with bobby at the moment. he will check in when he can.

our thoughts and loving prayers are like food for bobby and a chance for all of us to feel connected and loved and know that we are family during this holiday season.

am sure we all got bobby miller stories to tell.

Bobby

Get well sweety my prayers and best wishes are with you. Hope to see you soon...Kisses

For all your giving and sharing of yourself. Even in that last post, you wrote "Stay in love with life;" that line has been my personal mantra these past few weeks. I'm thinking of you, dear: of your comfort, your bravada, your example. You are the light, baby.

james and i have been telling 3-month-old veronica so much about you, bobby. she has told us in no uncertain terms that she expects a full bobby miller education on how to lead a charmed life in the 21st century.

we miss you and need you terribly. get well soon.

xoxoxo

I spoke to both Basil and John tonight - who very much sent their thanks and love to everyone here on the Boards and asked me to post this report.

Bobby is now conscious, though he slips in and out of being lucid and is having trouble speaking. He had an MRI which showed that when he had the crisis last week and weekend he seems to have suffered a small stroke. This could account for the confusion, or there could be some other cause.

He is not able to swallow food and is unfortunately on a feeding tube. It is hoped that if his condition improves that he may be released to a non-hospital facility (like a halfway house) by next week. Basil will be returning with his laptop in a few days to read the messages here with Bobby, which he seemed eager to do when they spoke last.

I asked John whether visitors would be welcome at this time and he said it was too soon, that the chances of Bobby being able to enjoy the visit were too slight. He asked that would-be visitors hold off for now, but thanked everyone for wanting to make the trip.

He suggested that people forward cards or notes to Bobby to his PO box in Ptown and he will take them to Bobby - email me if you would like this address.

I continue to pray for you, and send tidal waves of energy to stregnthen you, and to lift you up, and to envelop you in total goodness and light. Your spirit is soooo strong Barbara J, I pray for the healing of your body and to get you up and inspiring the masses like you do best!!!!! So much love to you sister.
SWEETIE

All my love going out to you, Bobby -- sunshine and laughter and beauty and peace, like you so have so often given me. Here's a prayer:

I am better
I am better
I am better b/c
I know you
I am better
I am better
I am better b/c
you live.

I love you. Be well, be well, see you soon, many hugs -- emily xyz

If you could Chi Chi.

Our thought(s) are with Bobby, John, and Basil.

How are John and Basil doing?

Lv,

TnD

[This message was edited by Ted & Di on 12-12-02 at 11:14 PM.]

I can't wait to talk to Bobby when he's more lucid. I just KNOW he's been on one hell of a trip. God only knows who Bobby has been talking to while he was unconscious (Hilda?). Just like Lestat I'm sure he will have lots to tell us.
Merlin, what do you think?