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Dear Motherboard Readers,
Here is my most recent report from PPtown. The tourists have all gone home and it is cool, breezy and sunny. The streets are inhabited mostly by locals and townies and a small smattering of day trippers.
this is the time of year to be here. No crowds, no screaming babies and families with strollers in your way at every turn. No circute party fags filling your ear with their constant drivel.Even the divine drag queens have pulled up their wig stands and headed home.

Just the sweet scent of the sea breezes and the howl of the coyotes at night. I could live here forever, except I'll be needing my NYC fix pretty soon. I'll just get in the car and drive for seven hours and be there in no time at all.

Spiritus Pizza is still open until 2am and I can go and visit at night and watch the dwindleling dance or just stay in where it's cozy and warm and watch the whole scene from the spiritus cam.

Finally saw the elusive Kippy Love after waiting all summer for her to emerge from her little house on Commercial Street. She has to be an interesting chapter or two.

Well, I am off to dinner at Front Street with our staff party tonight. I look everywhere for Jizzbucket but I hear tell he's off in New York with that crazy drunk woman Messy Bonnie Raitt.
The post office still has a photo of her up. I guess she's wanted in more than one state.

Until next time.

Problemstown love to you all. razz
For any Provincetown or Boston-based Motherlovers, or any fellow vacationers don't miss this rare bit of New York..

Sunday, June 8 at 11 PM
Commercial Street, Ptown.

Readings and performances by John Kelly, Bobby Miller, Chi Chi Valenti, Andy Horowitz, Matthew Benedict and Kim Rogers.

Suggested donation $5.

And Jackie Legend Billy Rene is bartending. Whoo-whoo!

Should be lots of fun. Hope to see you there..
We haven't tried this yet (we are sending Matt Benedict first) but...
there is a $10.00 (YES $10.00!!!) bus that goes from NY Chinatown to Boston Chinatown. $10.00! It's a real bus, in fact there are lots of them. Then from Boston you can take the Ferry which is a hoot. We'll let you know if Matthew makes it.
Those Chinatown busses are great. I did the Philadelphia one which is $10 rount trip. I think they save because they don't do major advertising. It's pretty much like any other bus.

How long is the ferry ride? Is it far from Chinatown?

It's a long bus ride to Boston. If there was a direct P-Town bus, even if it cost more, I might prefer for the convenience. Do you know of one?
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It leaves from Maria's Bakery on Lafayette! I love that place. It's one of those Chinese bakeries with those insanely cheap pastries. I like the lunchy ones that come with tuna inside or a hot dog baked into it. My very favorite are the coconut cream buns that look like a big pussy. Maria's is really big and it looks like the sort of old fashioned place you'd expect to see in Brooklyn or Queens. I wonder if it used to be Italian and they just kept the name. Everything in there is between 50¢ and a dollar.
1) Matt B. took the Chinatown bus and yes, it's a real bus. And yes, it's really $10.00 to Boston. And yes, it lets you out really close to the Ferry.
He missed the ferry and took another "real" bus to Hyannis where he missed his connection to P-Town and had to take a cab. Not a real money saver after all. He said the bus was great except they are in no hurry what so ever. He would take it again but leave LOTS of time.

2) P-Town is very dog friendly. We took Whitney Houston. (No... our border collie Whitney Houston not the other one) Lots of places take dogs. Just ask or go to their website.

3) I know Varla is doing shows this summer. She's great. Also check out this bitter fat queen named Chris Francis. He is hysterical! Just don't sit too close to him because the acid from his tounge will kill. We went one night (David Ilku & boyfriend Andy, David LaChappel, the Empress and I) WE WERE PEEING HE IS SO FUNNY. Really nasty, bitter, hideous. (I wish he was on the Motherboards) Don't miss him.
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Helen and I finally made it to Ptown (for Fantasia Fair - which was a trip). What a kick-ass town! We stayed at Fairbanks, had a gorgeous room and a blast.

I really do wish more Motherboarders could have seen the Fair Follies (talent contest) - straight people are too funny. Wink

'in matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity is the vital thing.'
-oscar wilde
Just so you know, it's warmer here than in NYC, but it's magical here like that.

Saw the eccentric and talented Sharon Neisp at the A&P yesterday. She's living here year round too. In a barn in Wellfleet and writing and working on Gospel Spirituals.

And life goes on and I am writing and cooking in my big kitchen and missing all of you in Manhattan. Will be in town Jan 26-30 and hope to see many of you during my visit. Sending lot's of love and warm wishes to everyone.
Well it's been awhile but this is as good a time as any to give you the latest from PPtown. Well the place was packed with gay brides and grooms and more press people than you'd find at a Michael Jackson court date.
There are living for it here. 124 couples filed for marriage licenses here on Monday followed by 124 weddings throughout the week. All kinds of queers are here to participate and celebrate this piece of history. It really has a true feeling of solidarity and community more than I have ever seen before. Everybody seems to be jumping on the gay wagon Mary...They all want to take your wedding photos or do your hair or arrange the flowers or video your ceremony or cater the wedding feast...Like busy gay bees working for the Queen to make it all go just perfectly. And it appears to be just that. Perfect!

And the locals are gagging and the tourists are dropping their jaws at all the action going on right now. Exciting, very exciting.

If only I were a justice of the
Report from P,town:

It is sunny and warm and very clear and beautiful here. The shy is blue and at night there are a million stars shining brightly. The regulars have returned for the season and the day trippers remain the same.

Today I met the grand daughter of Cookie Mueller. A beautiful 3 yr old with a clever
manner and an inticing smile. She looks exactly what you would think Cookie must have looked like at that age.

I said hello and she closed her eyes tight as if doing so would make me dissapear. The she opened just her left eye to see if I was still there and quickly closed them again. As she was being wheeled away by her mother and god mother, Sharon Neisp, I could have sworn she looked back at me and winked. Cookie in a nut shell.

Visitors this week: Merlinater and bf, and Miss Lisa Jackson in a return engagement at The Vixen.

We all send our best Mother Love to you all.
Full tilt summer here right now. Carnival begins next week and the drag will be flying. Bea Arthor in town to perform as well as Ellen Green from Little Shop Of Horrors. Also Margeret Cho at The Vixen. So many tourists the town could flip over at any moment. Missing all of you in Manhattan and hoping to come visit after Labor Day. I hear Bonnie is on her way up the coast, I hope she leaves her nasty attitude at home. This town has posted her picture in the Post Office and asked that the locals keep their eyes peeled for trouble.
Bobby, I think if you just do one of those old fashioned bent-tree-with-a-noose snare traps and place a snifter with one phlegm-diluted gulp of Jack Daniels left in it as bait, you will have a dangling Bonnie out of the way of everybody in an instant, as well as some enjoyable entertainment. 'Pin the Tail on the Messy One' anyone?
Just a sad note on the passing of my good friend and former boyfriend, Indian larry. He was killed doing his famous motorcycle stunt at a bike show in the south on Monday. Great obits in both the New York Times and the Daily News. Larry was a rebel and a one of a kind man. He left many friends and fans around the world and will be missed by everyone who ever knew him. I send my love and prayers to his wife Bambi.
Long live Indian Larry.
Bobby, something made me think fondly of P'Town last night. Perhaps it was the sudden cold snap and the snow we got here. There is an incredible raw beauty about December on the Cape that I love-- snow blowing down the empty stretch of Commercial Street, the fireplace at the A House, the bulk of one's day spent indoors with only a brief and brave venture out to the post office to keep cabin fever at bay.
I am not a huge fan of winter, but I think if I were to spend it again anywhere in New England, it would be in Provincetown. Maybe the season is more dramatic there due to the proximity of the ocean, which becomes a very different thing entirely from the gentle and hypnotic summertime sea that gently rocks the rooms at Captain Jack's. There is also tragedy in the Cape winter-- boats down off Nauset, fishermen lost-at-sea, bodies found frozen out by duneshacks. (The shacks are probably not even there anymore. When I lived there, only one or two remained.) But the very changing sea makes it much more bearable and even romantic, unlike the endlessly heavy and crippling winters of other parts of New England. When I lived there, the Bay even froze totally across for a bit, and you could see men ice-fishing each day as the sun came up.
I also remember trying to boil water for coffee on a toaster, because someone in the night had stolen the propane tank right off the back of my house in the woods near Beach Point!
So, I am wishing you and the rest of your townsfolk, a very happy Yule season, Bobby. And many, many fond memories, as I watch the light dusting of snow we got in New York melting in the morning sun.
Hatches my Darling, You speak so beautifully of our beloved Provincetown...Yes it is winter here but strangely the weather is different almost every day. Yesterday 10 degrees, today 45 degrees and the weatherman says thursday will be in the upper 50's..Go figure. The shacks are still there and several have been rebuildt and people actually live there. I saw the bay freeze over last year and then when the tide came in the entire thing cracked and turned into icebergs about two feet apart. Amazing sight.. It looked so Artic. The only thing missing were the penguins. Thanks for the warm wishes..I hope to see you all during our Feb visit between Feb 19-25. I may be doing a special show at The Slipper Room with special guests like Lisa Jackson. I will post here when I know for sure. Love to all.Happy Holidaze.
Bobby! Crazy warming, you think?? Pretty soon Manhattan will be a tropical island! Can you imagine. But I'm writing to tell you that as I was weeding through stuff I found a postcard invite for a show you had many eons ago. It was the postcard invite for a show of photographs taken in Sudio 54. The invite photo had Olivia Newton John and Elton John. I then proceeded to tack it onto my fridge. Just wanted to let you know that. Missing you and Happy Holidays.

Merry Christmas from lovely snow covered Provincetown. I took a walk in the cemetary today to say Merry Christmas to Gens, went shopping at Conwell lumber for tissue paper and saw Max Mueller ( Baby Noodles in Female Trouble), stopped at the A&P for cake icing, came home and made 100 mini angelfood cupcakes for friends and family and the local nursing home, opened a few presents with my adoring husband ( got a FABULOUS giant wall clock with see through inner gears that move while the clock is running) and burned some CD's for gifts to the neighbour boy. Who says life isn't full and rewarding outside of NYC. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Say hi to Gens and tell him we'll be up this summer with the new puppy. He's got alot of Gennaro in him. When Chi Chi put down his first puppy pee pad instead of peeing on it he picked it up and paraded it back and forth through the living room. (Did I mention that he sleeps under a picture of his Uncle Gennaro?)

Say Hi to Max.
How is "Baby Noodles'" baby?

And please give Big Daddy a big one for me too.
Hi Daddy, "Baby Noodles" is having wife trouble.
She likes to go out and party and now I believe she has taken the baby " Grand daughter of Cookie ", to her mothers house and I think it is going nowhere. Poor Max.

It is 14 " of snow here with 10 foot drifts and we have been without electricity since noon today. It has just come back on and we are warm and cozy here at 28 Tremont. Hope you are all well and happy. Love to Mommy and the new "baby".
Report from Ptown:
It's snowing like there's no tommorrow. we still have electricity and phone lines but it's only 11pm sat night so we'll see what happens tommorrow. It looks like a ghost town and anyone with any sense has left for higher ground. Hope everyone in NYC is fine and staying warm too. I send lots of love and kisses.
I just woke up and can't see out of the windows or doors. The drifts are about 6 to 8 feet and it looks like there's about 20 inchs so far and it's still snowing. The wind here is like a hurricaine and the high tide is arriving now. I am a big block from the ocean so I hope we don't float away. If so I'll be sure to post from "Elsewhere".

Joe/ Glad to hear that the project is still on. Good luck.
Oh, by the by...
Casanova Beausoleil def wants to have his coming out party at "Captain Jacks" this summer. I hope you can put a nice recption committee together Bobby.
Just off the top of my head I was thinking....

1) Bobby Weatherby
2) Jingles and Tee Tee
3) That big fat nasty queen that insults people at his show (I forget his name).
4) Billy Rene
5) John Waters
6) Lynn & Lacey
7) All the boys & girls at Spiritus
8) You & Big Daddy of course
9) John Dowd
10) Varla Jean Merman
11) Gus Gutterman... Oh hell, EVERY drunk at The Gov. Bradford
and last but certainly not least...
12) Sharon McKnight

Oh, and if you can swing it, that fat cop that dances in the intersection directing traffic.

Did I leave any VIPs out Hattie?

Casanova Beausoleil

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