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This amazing topic continues for all love, mojo, messages, prayers and BEAMS out to Bobby Miller, the Motherboards own bobby, who continues to teach from his Provincetown bedside.

Catch up in part 1 with this saga of courage and community, and KEEP ON BEAMING!


Sending all love to that very special place and most of all YOU:

Poet..Priest of Everything..Legend..

I'll dance one for you this Tuesday, promise!
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tim and ken are here with me for new year's. we talk and think of you so often. wishing you much love, lot o' health and prosperity in the new year. 2003 will be glee!! for you especially cuz you deserve it. i sent my elves randy and sean in to see john and say hello in p'town. can't wait to see your loverly face again in new york-or maybe we'll just have to go up to p'town in the new year!!

what a girl will do to lose some weight--i mean, really!!
am heading to Ptown for New Years Eve! just made reservations! have spoken to Bobby almost everyday while out in Santa fe, sending him some rays. Hoping he got a sun tan from it, LOL. while thinking on Mr. Miller, it's not just Bobby that is seen, all our smiling faces surround him as one big loving heart. in the worst of times -- the best possible things do happen.

love loving you Bobby.
Hey Bobby! I'm thinking about you, and all these posts filled w/ healing and fierceness. I've been burning a candle all month in my window for you, and it's so comforting to feel like I have you right there in that flame looking out for me.

Looking forward to my Miller Time this evening, as I will be with loved ones before the countdown. I'm wishing ABUNDANCE for you for this year: abundance of health, love and peace - even though it looks like you already have a lot of this covered!

peace and light to you, baby!
We spend so much time on costumage and apparel and then you go and loose 50 pounds and everything looks hip hop...ICK..

A few personal notes:

Stan/ Thank you so much. You made me laugh and cry and reminded me of my roots. I adore you as I always have and you know that you were the first women I ever proposed to. It was because I loved you and I still do. But I think I love my Master more and surely you understand that one.

Sweetie/ Look what you started. Now at 9;45 every night I have to buckle my psychic seatbelt to prepare for the delluge at 10pm/ I love you and always have since we met at BoyBar so many eenturies ago. Your carimg and loving qualities shine out to everyone abd I am the benefactor. Thank you so much for your assistance in helping my healing. I can't wait to see you again soon. All my love.

To everyone else posting here/ Thank you for your love and concern. Have faith that God will continue to reveal tommorow to us, each of us in our lives in our own way.
Bless all of you. I feel your thoughts and prayers for real.
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Finally got to speak to Bobby today for a long while - my first conversation since he has been back at home. His voice sounds ever stronger and Merlin and Jamie were there fattening him up!

Bobby said how much these posts meant and continued to mean. He asked that people continue to post here and not email him, as his email box filled up while he was in hospital and hotmail closed or disabled his account. He also enjoys receiving snailmail at the p.o. box - email me if you need it. He thanked everyone for the cards and notes and packages and apologizes for not being able to answer these separately.

I think being able to write in little groups to people in the topic is helping him feel connected to his roots and family here while not being as exhausting as individual correspondences or phonecalls.

Glad to have such a good report to add. Beam On!
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At 10pm, Bobby turned to John and said, 'It's 10 O'Clock, isn't it?' He knew it from the waves of love and energy that came over him. It was so strong last nigh none of us could sleep. We spent hours talking, sharing, laughing while trying to wear Mr. Miller out so he could sleep. Yes, he is talking again. LOL. Bobby Miller Time is a powerful thing, family.

We also sat around the kitchen table yesterday making plans for the future! It's a long road ahead, with many new possibilies, and we will all get there together.
we thought about you so much--sent you love and energy when we picked out the asparagus and grated the cheese. one of the people we invited to our dinner for 8 didn't make it so i imagined it was you! i imagined you were at the dinner and how you would respond to various questions and situations. okay--i had had some really good wine and there were these little green leaves being lighted. so what!! anyway, you had a swell time and we loved everything that you said while we were watching "the warriors," currently known as the fiercest runway movie ever, and we were sorry when you had to go. but you've seen in a new year and there will be plenty more (that's YOUR problem!) with much love--prayers and stuff for you to get better quickkkkkk xoxoxoxoxo
Judith mistakenly started a topic with this one (no biggie, Judith, just use the "post reply" button, not "post topic") Smile


matt benedict called me today. we had seen each other the evening chichi organized the videotaping for you(which i'm sure you're keeping for blackmail purposes--esp me with the tit clamps). it was almost like being in jackie again--everyone dresssed up, interesting people, friends, dope smoking--but of course you weren't there leading the parade so jackie it wasn't. but it was great to see matt and we had a good talk today. HE DOESN'T HAVE A COMPUTER. i don't mean to throw shade; i just wonder how he commicates with the world. so i told him i would post his best wishes here for you. he's got a show coming up in february in chelsea which i insisted on being invited to. i love to dress up for an evening and have a good time!! i'll pick up some nice men for you and fedex them up and i'll slip any little paintings i like up my sleeve and send 'em up to you!! so it will be like you were there!!

guess what? they may have an evening of gay rollerskating back at the roxy. can i borrow your skates???

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thank g-d we got new year's out of the way and we can get back to real life! the news is good? the news is bad? i don't know. they're filming an episode of "law and order" outside my window and i'm hoping to see jerry orbach. no matter what is going on in the world, i focus on the important things. especially important is BARBARA JEAN MILLER! keep goin' on, my love, things can only get better!! i think of you all the time but especially when i walk by your doorway. lots of love coming your way from...the woman in black!
I had the craziest dream about you last night Barbara Jean. I just figured out why. I was walking by your doorway yesterday and of course I wanted to bang on the window to see if you would pop your head out. (I didn't though don't worry). But last night I had this dream...

I was talking to Sammy Jo. He and I were going camping. (Don't ask, it was a dream) We were of course talking about the latest records and I said, "Wait till you hear Bobby Miller's new record. He did a re-make of "French Kiss". I then hand him a record. It said...

produced bt THE MERLINATOR
re-mixed by DAVID MORALES

I said, It's really good, wait till you hear it".

Then you were there. I said, "Bobby, this record is really hot. You know you are going to have to do shows. You have to get better quick because you have to do the shows right away, you can't wait".
And you then pulled out this jet black wig (it looked like G-Spot's hair) and put it on. It looked hideous! (it looks great on G-Spot but a jet black shag didn't work for you). Then you said, "Don't worry hon, I got it covered." I turned to Sammy Jo and said, "Should we tell her"? He said, "No, let's not".
I woke up feeling all excited and happy about your new record and your new show biz success. I was kind of stunned by you in that wig though, it was so not you.
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Not so far off - Bobby Big Beams and Daddy -- I saw that CD actually quite recently myself in the odd hours ... although the CD was in the traditional album racks no? I caught it with more of a Deb vibe i.e. FKing in the USA -- oh Wells ...

Bobby, was so incredibly happy to read your fiesty personality coming back through on the boards -- genually the first sign of Spring I've seen. And I do believe the true darkness has been passed (about 4am, not last night but the night before). Cool

And today, B-Burg was booming at 10am with community and enthusiasm for fashion, art and fun, yes, fun, boring old fun, like the South End once was a decade ago and it's going to be a cool, cool, spring this year (albeit a few frigid spikes to remind us how unnatural this year is)...

OK enough weirdness out of me, back to work, left brain exit right ... Oh, Lex ... Click Me!
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I was talking to Francine 59 today. She said to send you her best. She told me about the first time she met you -on a hair stunt of some kind.
(I guess Moses needed a new do)

I also just left Matthew Benedict's studio (I'm going to be a pirate in a new painting he's doing) He said you two talked for hours the other day. He loved it.

Well, I'll give you more dirt when I fall in it.
At the cabaret/poetry launch on Wednesday. SO many people spoke of you, asked about you, are still finding out about this topic, remarked on how strange it felt to be doing readings without you, or how much you would love the fact that we were again doing readings.

Was wonderful to hear that new bit of strength in your voice when last we spoke.

Love, love, love
hey bobby. veronica is spending some time bonding with her stuffed animals, so i thought i'd drop you a line.

it's a sunny morning on jane street, though quite cold! i think i'll swing by to your neighbors' -- the crazy christmas ornament place -- to see if they have a funky canister set. mine is from college yet and in desperate need of an upgrade. that place fills me with a lot of joy, not least of all because it's right near your house.

james and i are thinking of you often. i find myself walking by your pad alot -- just looking at the darkened windows somehow makes me feel better, as if i can will the lights to come on and your gorgeous face to come walking out the door.

we hope you are feeling stronger every day. on a related note, veronica is getting LARGER every day. i can't wait for you to see her.

c, j and v
Sending you some love before I turn in for a few hours. I came across your card the other day when I was doing some cleaning, and I remembered when you gave it to me at "Good Cop/Bad Cop." That was such a fun night for me (thanks in part to Jackie Bigalow and a handy pair of handcuffs!). It was the first real conversation I had with you; believe it or not, I had actually always been too shy to say hi to you before - a little starstruck, really. You were perfectly filthy that night!
Hey hons, Just got back from having a MRI ( a surreal ride in a tube that x-rays your brain) in Hyannis. Every day seems to make me a little clearer and stronger but I am still feeling this meningitis. Wierd and strange my dreams are full of friends and angels and I wake up in the middle of my sleep convinced that there are aliens in the room. Funny thing/ When they took me to the hospital in full straight jacket ( yum) and admitted me to the hospital, It was recored that I was an acute delerium. Little did they know that is my normal state. I want a t-shirt from Daddy that sez A Cute Delerium.

Thank all of you for your continued support and postings. These boards make me laugh and cry. I miss you all.And the 10:00pm stop and think on Bobby is so powerful I can feel it. Who is doing the singing? I hear someone singing.

Mommie Dearest,

Just want to send you some more love today. Thanks for our phone call earlier, we are keeping long distance in business these days! I want to remind you how much we all love and miss your shining presence. Merlin and I are heading over to Chi Chi's new party tonight, I haven't been out in a while so I am really looking foward to it. Just tap in cause' you will be right next to me, as you always are.

All my love, Jamie
i've been reading the boards and now i see that you're home! yippee!! nothing like sleeping in your own bed. by the way, there really are aliens all around. it's a good thing. they come to find out what parts of us they might want to take back with them--the good parts of course. they'll probably take a lot of you! you're a total good part. is it lovely in p'town now? do you have snow? i'm sure you're cozy and warm and i hope you're getting better every day. i'll keep reading the boards so i can see how you're doing and also to read the fantastic postings from your friends. xoxoxox
dear daddy,

wow, your dream captures the moment clearly. love that you and sammy jo, go cacooning to find your dj inspiration -- if only in your dreams.

(as a confirmation) when Bobby was waking up in the hospital after having been 'out' for a couple of days........ he turned to Basil and said, 'Yes, I know, Merlin is my producer and he owes me a check, where is it?'

'"Should we tell her"? He said,
"No, let's not".'

'Honey, she knows and does it anyway! Yah, can't stop her.' Mr. Miller is ready for his close-up, just as he is. even with his body in stress as he was over the New Years Holiday (ask Jamie), there was a majesty in his deportment that goes beyond the seeming 'ugliness of the moment'. Bobby has always celebrated and shared what is happening to him and that wig tells us he just hasn't finished his new look. LOL

'I woke up feeling all excited and happy about ......'

this sense of joy in your dream, despite the seeming dire circumstances, is part of the untold story of this mystery we call 'Bobby Miller Time'. this 10 PM lovefest flows like honey from our extended family for this fierce Poet Lover Juglar Guitar Playing Singing Hairdresser Performance Artist Photogapher and TransGender Everyman -- has been the surprise elixar that has turned the tide. this joy has helped someone struggling with life, live.

I take this dream as a shared moment, Daddy, we have all egged/cajoled/celebrated each other over the years as the Jackie/Mother Family. we are helping each othere with our intense love and interest in life and each other even when we are not aware of it, it is nice to take a moment to remind us as you have done.

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